I am emotionally broke down. I am still not over the fact of my late grandmother’s death even though it has been exactly 2 months since her passing. I would cry seeing her clothes in her cupboard, cry upon our memories spent together and would even cry when I saw her face reflected at the back of my mind. I have been crying ever since the starting of the week, every single day without fail and my eyes are hurting so much now. When that happens, I would tend to vent the sorrow which somehow rather turned to anger to my boyfriend. With that, conflict among us would likely to occur. I seriously do not want to initiate anymore conflicts in this relationship. Just when we are starting to get close, problems after problem arise.

When I thought that I’d be okay, something just had to cause me to blow up. Girls nowadays. Despite knowing the fact that the guy is already attached, you still have got the cheek to say that you can’t sleep and that you are thinking of MY boyfriend (!!!!!) Wahh, suke-suke. Where the hell is your pride bitch? Fucking get away from my boyfriend, please. Would you like it if you were to be in my size 6 shoes? The answer will be an absolute ‘NO’. Both of us are girls and we will tend to have the same thinking regarding this issue. God! I don’t know who to be mad at and who to believe. I guess I need proofs. Strong proofs. It’s not as if I do not trust you, but I guess I am really confused and still in disbelief over the whole issue. - “It takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.”

I know it has been hard on you. I know I have been a hell of a one tough girlfriend to handle. But you know me well enough don’t you? You know how I’ll react; the message content, it’s just too heartbreaking. I am indeed very weak to move on from it. I’m sorry for acting very evasive yesterday.

Many many problems are hovering in my head. I do not know how to handle each and every one of it. All that I know is I am very forlorn and torn. I'm at the lowest of my lowest right now.

To the girlfriends; Kyn and Maira, I’m sorry if I wasn’t there when you guys are facing your own problem. I promise, once I am able to pick myself up, I’ll surely be there to give you girls a helping hand ok? But other than that, bear in mind. You know my number. I’m just a phone call away baby(s).

To make things worse than it already are, I am down with flu. Almost everyone in my class is sick. Sigh. I guess I need to put a halt to all these. I think I'm going to cry my whole lungs out when I get home and would hopefully be better after that. I hope. Even now, typing this in class, it makes me tear. Idk whats wrong with me. D':

time check: 1232.