On my post dated 11th May i said, "I'm still not ready to see her go, really." Well, she have return to the Almighty on the 17th May at the age of 71. She ; my beloved grandmother. It was a sudden one. Until now, i still cannot believe that she have departed. Yes, I was composed when I first got the news from sis. But if I say I did not cry, I am lying. I didn't expect that our last meet was on the 11th. "Kalau nini senang-senang lepas sekolah, datanglah sini." (If you're free after school, do come here) Little did I know that, that will be her last words to me. I feel so useless not being able to read her the surah yasin due to my period. Really, I feel so goddamn useless. My nenek died in her sleep, peacefully. If mum had not work, nenek would be staying at my house. But unfortunately, that isn't the case since there will be no one to take care of her here.

I would surely miss her delectable cooking and wearing for her, her adult diapers. The times when I scolded her because of her cigg smokes, the times when she will constantly be asking me to buy her double cheeseburger whenever I went out. The times when she would send and fetch me to and from ngaji / school and would buy me all my P.ramlee's vcds. Times when we would go and have our breakfast together, when she would wake me up at 5.45 and say that it's already 6.30, the times when I would apply for her ointment, when we tease her at the way she sleep and her catch phrases. When she would always say that I would grit my teeth whenever I sleep. Times when we would furtively lower down the volume of her radio. The times when I would follow her to the market when I was still very young. All those times, will definitely stay with me.

Hari Raya this year would without doubt be different from the previous years. Last time, we used to celebrate at the respective houses nenek was staying at that particular moment, but now? 6 years living under the same roof, taking care, spending our times together. Its just incomplete without her, really. She managed to celebrate her last birthday together with all of us last year. Just when we thought that we would want to celebrate her birthday again this year, God have took her back. My very first kiss, was my very last to her.

May her soul rest in peace and that her seksaan kubur be lightened. Amin. :'(((