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Life's like that / Wednesday, 22 August 2007

"Its 22nd of july n i wanted to tell you that my feeling for u fades as days passes by. It has come to a minumum. As days pass by, i dont know whether i should let u go or not. It is a hard decision. This is what i have to say. Just to let u know how its iike. Im not ending it now but just to let u know that all good things comes to an end."

That was the msg that i received from ipen last night at 12.57am. I was awake at that moment, i find it very ironic. The moment i woke up from my sleep, my hp suddenly vibrates. Yes, i do hope that its from ipen, but i didnt expect that msg content. Like seriously. All that i could reply was,

"Oh. Thanks for slapping the truth right into my face. I dont blame you. Just do whatever u think is right for this relationship"

And that was all. I was speechless. "It has come to a minimum" ? In other words, that means, he doesnt love me anymore. Why must it be now and not after my O's or even earlier ? I spent my day in school reminiscing that msg. Honestly, I wasnt paying attention during Biology, at all. Sheesh. Is the email content too harsh for him ? Well, i dont think so at all. I was just being frank with him. Die sendiri ckp, dont bottle things up. It might get out of hand. *sigh. Not ending it now ? Then when ? A day before my prelims exams ? If he thinks that that is the right time, how i wish i could tell him NO. Ugh, i still cant accept the fact that he said that. Why has it fade ? It must be me, who should say all those words, not him. Ive been "neglected" eversince he started working. I waited for him, trying my very best to take everything optimistically. Shit ! I should be the one saying all those la, for God's sake !

I dont kno if i have to approach him, act as if nothing is wrong or just wait patiently for him to say, "Sorry, but i think its better if we go our separate ways". I really hope someone would come up to me and tell me wht to do next. Until now, the msg still lingers.
Maira said, if she were me, she'd cry upon receiving that msg. But i wonder why i din shed a single tear. Its not that i dont love him, I love him the most, but when i think of it, yah, it saddens me but no tears.

Enough enough. I have to put him aside. Away from my mind. ( I hope i have the courage to do so ) I want to start doing my physics homework. Tonnes of it. Hw i wish that he'd beep me up and say "Baby, its all a mistake. Im sorry"
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Murnie ! Murnie. Neither 12 nor 14. But turning 18 by the end of the year. Attached and currently pursuing a diploma in RP. ;)

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