to whom it may be concern to,

u noe, i was damn disappointed when tmrw's plan collides with ur gme. i was soooo looking forward to it then. for no reason, i teared. ive lost all my mood dat very moment; the mood of enjoying our times together. when was the last time we went out as in out, u remember? if im not wrong, its to vivocity which was dated 2nd february. which was like... almost 2mths? well.. im nt trying to make this sound ridiculous. but u ppl have been busy telling me abt hockey this nd hockey that. this girl did this nd coach did that. oke maths buddy. if u realised (provided u remember this scene in maths class) you were like telling me evrything abt hockey. i cant recall what it really was but, i was like keeping myself mum all the time. remember? u noe why i did that? simply because, i dont wan tuh listen to any of it anymore. ive gt enough of hockey stories. u ppl's life is all abt hockey. oke i understand that u cant do anything abt that, but ad least, when it comes to u ppl with me, spare me the details. i dun mind if its once in awhile but for sure, not evry single time. nd u said, y not go after tmrw's match. i dared not repeat my mistakes anymore. i dared not make any plans after ur games. y u ask. because, ive experienced it once. namely, the tp open hse. u shud noe rite, i so wanted to go there. yes. u promised me. but in end, we had to call it off as u ppl were exhausted by then. oke. i was cool bout that. ( well.. not for awhile la) but yahh. that was a lesson learnt though ; nvr to make any plans after your games. yes. i wanted to go for tmrw. ive gotta think twice.

nd nd i dont noe if i shud bring this up or not, but i think i shud. this happened during ur finals. yeaa. i said that i wanted to come down nd support. but unfortunately, we're having malay remedial right after sch. i was in dilemma. shud i come nd support, or shud i jus go hme straight. in the end, ive decided that i came down nd support u ppl, despite me getting into trouble the last time with my dad. so... took a taxi there. had to "waste" my money. although it was only 5 bucks la. with the right intention; to support. upon arrival, nd after ur match, NONE of u said a word to me. oke i noe that ure disappointed by ur loss. but soon after that u recovered nd still, no word to me? a smile. thats what i received. oke. i accept. in the bus, i was seated alone. not literally alone, but alone. one of u, which havent said a single word to me since i come, went down the rows asking if any of the people in the bus wanted to follow u ppl to eat. nd gues wad? u missed me. i dont noe if it was unintentionally but i take it as it is. mayb it was hockey girls thing. alighted frm the bus, nd i told the other one of u that im gg off. nd she said "tk ikut mkn?" i shook my head no. off i went. y follow wen ure nt invited to. i dont expect a red carpet or an invitation card but i feel useless there. now im disappointed. nevertheless, i tried to take it positively. however, i think this hockey stuffs are forcing me nt to. again, im emphasising, IM NOT TRYING TO BE RIDICULOUS BUT IM JUS POURING EVRYTHING OUT. ive had enough of bottling it to myself. where's my confidant i used to have, i wonder.

sorry if i had to bring this situation up, to my blog, but i jus cant tell u ppl straight into ur faces. i might break down, nd we might even get into an argument, which i dont want to. its hurtful to be in this situation u noe. sheesh. i told u its hurtful. im tearing again. nt wanting ur sympathy or what have u but i gues this shud ends. im sick of it u noe. seriously.


imagine i said nth abt this when we next meet.

Murnie. Neither 12 nor 14. But turning 18 by the end of the year. Attached and currently pursuing a diploma in RP. ;)